By De'Laney Rowland, Courtesy BlackDoctor.org

"If my thighs were just smaller..." "If I could just get a flat tummy..." "If I could just tighten up my butt..." There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your body, but there is something wrong with having unrealistic goals and ideas about what your body should look like. If you want to get a body that you love, you have to start by loving the body your in.

Stop picking yourself apart:

Let's face it: No matter how close-to-perfection body you have (and just what is the perfect body anyway?), chances are, there is something you would change about it if you could. Even celebrities and models that have been stamped with the media's "perfect body" rating have parts they dislike – their feet, their hands, their ears – and they don't necessarily have high self-esteem either! Rather than pick your body apart, look at your body as a whole (and read the next point...)

Consider the marvelous functions of your body

There are millions of microscopic functions that go on in our bodies every day, and you don't even have to think about them. They just happen! Unfortunately, it often takes a crisis or a tragedy, such as a brush with death, a go-around with a disease, or a debilitating accident for some people to realize that their bodies weren't so bad to begin with and that their body hang-ups were a big waste of time. Don't let that be the case with you! How much time are you spending each day worrying about your weight, your body shape, the size of your rear? What could you be doing during that time? Maybe you're supposed to be the first female or black president, but you'll never know because you're too busy obsessing about your abs!

Get real

Did you know that most of the images you see on television, movies, and magazines aren't even real? A model for a magazine cover goes through hours of professional hair and make-up, has professional stylists, top photographers who know her "best side," professional lighting, and that's all before the chosen photo goes to a company where they remove stray hairs, wrinkles, blemishes and "extra" curves. Sometimes Model A's head is stuck onto Model B's body. What you see is totally made up!

And it's not just fashion magazines that are creating a fantasy. Most of today's "fitness" magazines are following suit. On top of airbrushing and computer generated models, fitness magazines now need to audition their models to be sure they're strong enough to just do basic exercises! Muscles are even airbrushed in! It's time to get real! Find real role models who emanate the qualities you desire. Educate yourself about what really goes on "behind the scenes." And realize that no one naturally "glows" the way those models in the magazines do!

Change your inner dialogue

It's been said that we teach others how to treat us. If we believe that, the message that comes across to others is that we are not worth being liked, loved, or treated with respect. Most of it comes from what we're not even saying. Choose to believe that you are worth taking care of and that you have the right to be respected and treated with dignity – and act like it!

Take care of your body

Diets, pills, quick-fixes, binging, not exercising, over-exercising, all these things disrespect one of the greatest gifts you have been given – your body! You only get one per lifetime, so give it the respect it deserves. You will not only feel better, but you just might become someone else's role model!