Stephanie Covington Armstrong's mellifluous voice does not reveal the pain that once took up residence there. She speaks with the confidence of a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and doesn't care what other people think.

That wasn't always the case. The cover of her new book, 'Not All Black Girls Know How to Eat,' tells it all. Jagged black scribbles cross out a childhood photo, which is set against the backdrop of a stark yellow cover. But the most striking image, also on the cover, is of two fingers -- the index and middle -- both used to induce vomiting.
They symbolize bulimia, which is characterized by binge eating and purging, either by throwing up, laxative abuse or overexercising. A compulsion, it is usually done to numb feelings of anxiety or pain, experts say.
"My childhood picture is crossed out because it's about my self-loathing phase,'' says Covington Armstrong in a reflective voice. "The two fingers, well, they are about bulimia. It resonates for me.''
Covington Armstrong, a playwright and screenwriter in her forties who is a recovered bulimic, is an anomaly in many ways and shatters the myth that eating disorders are the sole province of whites. She also developed the disease late. Most sufferers fall ill in their teens, but Armstrong developed it in her twenties as she struggled to bury a painful childhood marked by neglect, stays in foster care, abject poverty and sexual abuse.
She is not alone. More and more, African American women are being diagnosed with eating disorders. Fifty percent are more likely to exhibit bulimic behavior than their white counterparts, which changes the complexion of bulimia, according to 'Caught in the Bulimic Trap: Do Eating Disorders Reflect Addictive Behavior,' a study conducted by Michelle Sovinsky Goeree and John C. Ham, of the University of Southern California, and Daniela Iorio, of CODE-the Universidad Autonoma de Barcelona
The 10-year-study followed 2,300 girls from California, Ohio, and Washington, D.C., who were questioned about body image and eating habits. "One explanation is straightforward: Girls with an eating disorder who are African American or come from low-income families are much less likely to be diagnosed,'' Goeree says. "Who goes to the hospital? Those who have insurance. Who tends to have insurance? Wealthier, better-educated people.''
Armstrong's eating disorder developed as she was in the throes of achieving her career goals, but her personal life was wanting.
"I became bulimic in Los Angeles,'' she says. "The normal age starts at 13. The men thing didn't work, so I was going to shut down and not need anyone. That's when bulimia came in. It's like this rush of calmness that occurs. I was able to function at this high level of pain. I didn't want to look imperfect, yet it wasn't about trying to be small. It was about hiding in plain sight. I could give a person great advice and be a mess inside.''
The trigger for her bulimia may have been relationship troubles, but it was it was just the tip of the iceberg, she says. Her childhood was no cakewalk.
She talks about the kitchen table as a war front when she was growing up. Armstrong says she hated her mother's cooking and simply moved the food around on the plate. The action triggered feelings of guilt, because her family was by no means wealthy. Covington Armstrong and her three siblings grew up in the rough-and-tumble Bedford Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn. As a result, she longed for control in a world of chaos.
"My mother couldn't cook,'' Armstrong recalls. "She didn't think much of food. She does not have an eating disorder, but she certainly has disordered eating.''
She describes her mother as a hippie who became a lesbian late in life. She had three children in her twenties and didn't know how to care for them, Armstrong says. At one point, for more than a year, she and her siblings spent time in foster care when her mother could no longer afford to take care of them. The family was later reunited.
"Even though she did her best,'' Armstrong says of her mom, with who she is in touch with today. "I deserved better. I set about healing in my twenties. I was at the bottom of running from all of this pain of low self-esteem. I chose food, and my sister was junkie.''
There was another secret in the family. Armstrong's uncle, who worked on Wall Street as a stockbroker and was the only success story on shaky family, attempted to rape her as a child. She tells the story in raw detail: "I felt something sticky and slippery as he slathered Vaseline onto the entrance of my vagina, cold, wet, thick,'' she writes. "His heavy man hands massaged the Vaseline into my private parts for what felt like forever...''
In the end, he could not penetrate her young body, she says. "He was a common predator," she says of her uncle. "He was attractive but was unable to sustain a marriage."
"He was not someone you would think of as a predator,'' she says. "I would have trusted my kid with him. He would have slipped under the radar. Absolutely. He was raised in foster homes and who knows what happened to him. I really want to say that. I'm not saying he was innocent because he was a grown-up. I was innocent.''
Indeed, just as with most addictions, people develop bulimia as a way to mask painful experiences. To fight her demons, Covington Armstrong moved from coast to coast to escape her self-loathing, but she found she could not run from her pain and finally decided to seek help. She went to counseling, read literature and attended group sessions geared toward middle-class white women. She wrote 'Not All Black Girls' in attempt to address that problem. And it does. It's straight, no chaser.
By telling her harrowing story and revealing the connection between childhood sexual abuse, parental neglect and poor eating habits, she threads the connection between the disease and the road to recovery. Covington Armstrong urges families to stay vigilant with sons and daughters, saying bulimia is not just throwing up and exercising. "It's abuse of diet teas, too,'' she says.
These days, Covington Armstrong is happily married and healed. "I actually will never throw up again,'' she says. "While I am fully recovered from bulimia, food is always a yardstick I can use to gauge where I am. If I'm hungry and I just ate, I can usually pinpoint what emotion I am trying to avoid. Usually something has triggered this hunger, and I can acknowledge it and move on without caving to the need to stuff down the feelings with food.''

Comments: (24)
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By: eric on 8/18/2009 7:36AM
Well, I'm sure that some BW can, and do suffer from bulimia but not many! most BW are way overweight and it's gotten to a point where it's just sickening!
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By: "DimePiece" on 8/18/2009 11:29AM
Your comments are sickening and ignorant because some black woman are overweight. Instead of talking bad about a black woman's weight problem, find out ways to help black woman and not talking down to them. Now that's abuse! Bulimia isn't just a black thing! But anyway, what a story? It was sad and
disturbing hearing her story. Wow, such a young age to start? I love
the Book Cover! This cover will get people's attention in reading
this book and getting awareness about the eating disorders. I am
glad that she got the help that she needed to help her to not only
get through bulimia but getting through in being sexual child abuse
as a child, parent neglect, and poor eating habits. I prayed that
she went to God and asked for help as well. I commend this sista for
reaching out to others through her book to get a positive message out
and for young girls and young woman to be educated about the
different types of Bulimia.
I always thought that people that were Bulimia only wanted to be thin
so that's why they threw up food? I didn't know that maybe, it was an
escape and a abuse? Her story touched me because when I was little, I
remember my Mom buying laxatives and hearing her throwing up in the
bathroom. In my eyes, my mother to me wasn't big? I loved her just
the way she was. I guess she thought she was and by doing this would
be the solution? I wish I was old enough at the time to understand
and to talk to her about Bulimia. I don't know if she is still doing
it we don't live in the same household no more, I am all grown up? I
just pray that she isn't?
I pray for all young woman and young girls to turn to help instead of
turning to Bulimia. Eating disorders affects people mentally and
physically. I pray that her relationship with her mother is much
stronger than ever? I know in her heart she forgives her mother and
uncle. I pray that the uncle got help himself for being child
predator and abusing her. This is part of the healing process.
Thank you, Ms. Lynette Holloway for sharing this story and bringing
it to attention!
Excellent story Stephanie Covington Armstrong, may God Bless you and
your family!
AOL again, I posted a nice and sincere blog and you all took it off. What I said was nothing wrong. Please be fare to all.
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By: Pepyone on 8/18/2009 4:02PM
Gee, Eric, you are really challenged to see reality, huh? too bad, you don't like Black women, I coulda showed you something.. but alas, you miss out.....on the sexiest women in the world.
Everyone else wants what we got.. hips, lips, and thighs and oh yes, that beautiful lovely skin tone......
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By: sharkchops on 8/18/2009 12:05PM
I've known several black women with bulimia from college and my office. Media would have you believe it's only white girls but it affects all races of women but it often depends on geographic and socioeconomic status. You don't see it as much in the inner cities where many black women embrace their obesity. But away from large urban areas when young black women start going to college or among those who live in the suburbs and regions that are more multi-ethnic where I live, it appears to be more prevalent. I don't wanna sound like I'm blaming it on a proximity to white lifestyle but the desire to be physically perfect has its roots in living in european-dominated society where images of model thin women as the standard of beauty reign.
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By: Diane on 9/10/2009 4:36PM
I agree with your comments. I live in the suburbs, and I know of one black girl,now in college, who suffered from bulimia in highschool. This young ladies friendships are 95% white and though her parents are Black, the mother has encouraged her daughter to date white men.The young lady is minoring in italian, in order to meet an italian man. The mothers siblings all have white spouses. I agree that proximity and the level of associaton to the White pollution does matter. The Mother wants to be white as to her daughter.
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By: deborah on 8/18/2009 2:48PM
I must commend you for getting help and letting everyone know with sharing of your personal story I am glad that you got the help that you needed to help yourself not only get through bulimia but getting through in being sexual child abuse
as a child, parent neglect, paired with poor eating habits. but before you did all of that I hope that you went to JEHOVAH ALMIGHTY GOD in prayer first, and then tackled all those demons,
you went through a lot young lady, I pray that you continue being a inspiration for many who are just like you were or those who are thinking about it. again I commend you for your actions, and continue in reaching goals that are realistic for life not one that are not obtainable for you, not me but you knowns where you path leads and what direction is a snare to you, remember only one knowns is you and our loving GOD JEHOVAH THROUGH his precious son Jesus Christ take it to him, lean on his ways and not yours for we know man can't direct their own step, they surely was'nt do a great one for you, reaching out to others through your book was great keep up with the positive message, not tiring out.
Love Ya!
BIG MAMA
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By: lvalentine on 8/18/2009 8:39PM
I don't even what to read this crap. The only Black women who care about being boney are those who hang with prodomantly white people in their daily lives. Most Black folks have curves. They have hips, thighs and butt and they love themselves and thier men love them. DON'T EVEN A DOG WANT A BONE. This bulimia bull is a white girl thing. This being obsessed with weight is a white people thing, but like all things that the white media gets obsessed with polutes the minds of Black folks eventually, but for now most Black folks are not obsessed with weight and being boney like white women are. They want us to be so badly they bring the 1% person who looks like she hangs with mostly white folks anyway to act like she is representing the majority of us Black folks. The majority of us are not obsessed with weight.
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By: eric on 8/18/2009 9:29PM
To: DimePiece, Alelach6567, and Pepyone
I don't know why BW here on BV's just can't stand to hear the real truth about BW being overweight! It's the real facts! And, here they are: "Black women are the most overweight in the US at 64.5% for all races of women. "Source": Centers for Disease Control, go check it out for yourself, so stop coming here getting an attitude about
what everybody else already knows as fact! Sorry, BW that you prefer to live in denial, but that's your problem, and just because you don't believe the real facts that only makes you a non believer, but it doesn't change the real facts.
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By: eric on 8/18/2009 10:16PM
You need to better educate yourself about BW being overweight and the myriad of health issues wherein that are associated with that condition. FYI,...BW are DYING, and you're here talking about hips and curves! You're just "sadly" the typical BW with that same warped attitude, and lack of information about Black Women's health.
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By: "DimePiece" on 8/19/2009 2:01PM
eric
No, I am not overweight but the fact that you brought your ignorance on here told us what kind of individual you are. Your comment affects all black woman and are That affects all black woman. You should have told the facts and why there is a problem in some black woman being overweight instead of calling them "Sickening". Did you every think of how your comment might have OFFENDED someone on here? You didn't think?Instead of calling names and putting overweight black woman down in a mean way, educate others and explain why it's important to be healthy and to be in shape? But eric, there are woman black overweight woman that have thyroid problems and have other health issues and can't help it?
So, my question to you, why are you switching up now and being so caring? Men like you and of all color need to show more compassion and understanding for woman. What is the excuse for overweight black men and men of all color? Do woman talk bad and bring them down because they aren't the size were they need to be? Come on now?
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