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Millions of Americans are celebrating Valentine's Day this weekend by sending each other flowers, going out to brunch or dinner, or even getting engaged. Of course, advertisers want us to believe that love is about heart-shaped boxes, diamonds, flowers, chocolate and candlelit dinners. But true love is much more substantive than that. In fact, our addiction to the fairy tales we see in the movies not only makes it unlikely that we'll experience love, but also leaves us more vulnerable to heartbreak -- or worse.

Regardless of our race, age, gender, sexual orientation or even marital status, being sexually active in today's world -- particularly for those of us who are Black --requires that we talk about difficult issues: our beliefs about monogamy; the importance of getting tested for HIV and other STDs; our sexual history and risk factors; and, for many of us, disclosing the fact that we have an STD, such as HIV.

Countless numbers of us who say we are in love aren't having the difficult conversations that true love requires. Instead we are engaging in a fantasy, for example, not wanting to "ruin the mood," or pretending that people in love don't have to talk about difficult issues.

Continue reading What's Love Got to Do With It? Fantasy? Reality?


I'm excited to be back as a regular contributor to Black Voices as we commemorate both Black History Month and National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, Sunday, February 7th. This is "Greater Than AIDS," a new monthly column that will run in conjunction with the national Greater Than AIDS movement. Our goal is inform Black people about activities that our community is already engaged in -- and to enlist your support in what we still need to accomplish -- to overcome HIV/AIDS and bring the epidemic to an end.

Black people have been greater than any challenge we have confronted in the past. We were greater than the Middle Passage. We were greater than slavery. We were greater than Reconstruction. We were greater than Jim Crow. And, we will be greater than AIDS as well.

Yet each year more than 56,000 Americans contract HIV -- almost half of whom are Black. Black people account for two-thirds of the infections that occur among women. Among youth, that number rises to 70 percent. Research conducted among young Black gay and bisexual men suggests that about half of them are HIV-positive. And the AIDS rate in our nation's capital is as high as that of many African countries. These are the challenges we face. These are the challenges we cannot afford to ignore.

Continue reading Black Americans Are Greater Than AIDS

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